I know your saying, “What?”, “Men have natural hair.” That is not what I mean. Today’s post is going to talk a bit about how men feel about women with natural hair. I have come across many women who say they could not go natural because their husband would leave them or their boyfriend would dump them. This is so sad and unfortunately may sometimes be true. But, what are your reasons for going natural? Did you do it for your man? Did you do it for your friend? Did you do it to get that great style that you saw your girlfriend rocking (because she is already natural)? I hope you said no to all of these questions. Why do you ask?
Because going natural should totally be about you and who you want to be. You should want to be true to yourself. There is an attitude that comes with being a natural. We saw it back in the day with Angela Davis. There are many times that someone says they are going natural and they go back to relaxing their hair. Now, don’t go off judging anybody who does this, because everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do. Sometimes it is just not the time for a particular person to make a change such as the natural hair journey. It does not make them weak, a traitor, or anything of the sort. It may not have been their time to take the natural journey. I think the best thing to do when you are weighing the decision to go natural is to ask yourself why you want to go natural. I went natural for a number of reasons: I wanted to see my real hair, I was tired of relaxers, I did not want the chemicals in relaxers in my body any longer, and on top of everything else I just couldn’t find a salon that worked for me.
Now about the men that women say will dump them if they go natural. The only thing that I can say is that if anyone were to disavow you because you decided to do something that made you feel good, maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship and what it is based upon. I am so not saying that if this happens in your relationship that you should divorce or leave your spouse or significant other. But, you may want to express to this person as you are about to begin your journey, how you feel about it, and why you have made this decision. You may simply want to sit down and talk to them about what you are about to embark upon to help them better understand your reasons for doing this.
On the other hand, there are men like my husband who fall in love with their wives again once they decide to go natural. My husband loves my hair as I transition, more than when I was getting relaxers. There are men like this everywhere ladies! We are in 2013 and some men want to see that natural beauty that comes along with rocking that afro, twist out, or locs. Not to mention they enjoy seeing that women feel good about her self and how she looks. Other men just don’t agree with their spouse or significant other wearing extensions for varied reasons. My husband said that when I did get extensions (a very long time ago) he did not like the way the hair smelled. There are other that are just freaked out when they happen to stumble upon a track. But whatever their reasons, they prefer that a woman wear her natural hair as grows out of her head no matter the texture. We all know that some people just need a little time to get used to change. Not only men but sometimes other family members such as parents, brothers or sisters. I just want to let others of you out there know that men do love natural hair sisters. So don’t let a man or family member be the reason that you cannot go natural.
Do your research, educate yourself (via natural hair stylists, books (“Better Than Good Hair”), or the internet. Mind you I don’t endorse YouTube and internet overload. Social media should just be a basis for your decision. But it can be a great help in seeing and hearing stories from others who are contemplating going natural, transitioning, or are new naturals. And don’t forget there are great natural hair stylists out there who can be a big help in explaining the move from relaxed to natural hair. But don’t be fooled! Keep your eyes and ears open and choose wisely.
Until next time rock that natural hair and keep doing you!